Saturday, September 26, 2009

Medical rotation and adventures in Mexico

So its been awhile since my last post... For all my devoted readers (namely Emily) I am truly sorry to deprived you of my awesome wit and intellect. I will now remedy the situation.
So since May I have been in medical clinics trying to learn all the doctors are throwing at me so that I can be an amazing PA someday. So far I have done family practice, Ob/Gyn and internal medicine. For those of you not savvy on all things medical that means I have seen lots of people with diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart problems. Also in my Ob/Gyn rotation I have had the pleasure of spending lots of time south of the border... Anyways there have been some highlights from these rotations that I thought I would share...
1. Little boy that decided poison ivy would work well as toilet paper
2. Man with huge hole in his pants... who liked to go commando...
3. 51 year old woman delivering twins naturally
4. Meeting the grandson of the guy who invented Monopoly
5. Man with two hooks for hands that could do anything... I'm still impressed just thinking about it
6. Cutting out skin cancer
7. Suturing really cool wounds
8. Diagnosing my dog's umbilical you are really impressed in my mad skills
9. Doing trigger point injection and manipulations... osteopathy is rad!
10. And free food from the drug reps

So now that you are all insanely jealous of my awesome life I am going to tell you about Mexico. For those that don't know my brother just got back in July from a two year mission for our church. To celebrate this my family decided to take a family vacation someplace cool. It was decided that we would go to Mexico (during the summer... and the rainy season?). Not Cancun, where most American tourists go, but Veracruz... where no American tourists go. Why not, you ask? Mostly because no one speaks English. But don't worry you can totally live someplace for a week without being able to communicate. Talking is totally overrated. And having no idea what your eating actually makes life more exciting. Okay so now I'm being slightly over dramatic... My dad speaks Spanish and my brother speaks Portuguese so we could communicate a little (emphasis on little...).
We thought we were going someplace like Cancun so we were a little surprised when we pulled onto a dirt road and then drove into the jungle to go to our villa. When we got to the villa we found out that there was no air conditioning. It was 100 degrees outside and 100% humidity... this time I'm not exaggerating. Someone had decided that going to Mexico during the rainy season was a good idea...and it proceeded to rain every night and most of the days that we were there.
On Tuesday we were going kayaking on the river. We are all going along having a good time and then we see jelly fish in the water. I thought jellyfish only lived in salt water but guess I was wrong. It was jelly fish mating season. Our guide said we would be fine as long as we didn't get into the water. Then my Dad's boat started to sink... soon my Dad's boat was completely submerged and he was in the river with the jelly fish... He proceeded to try and get the water out of the boat but he failed... miserably. It was quite entertaining until we realized that two of us were going to have to ride together in one very small kayak... Me and my youngest sister got into one boat and tried to paddle back which was very difficult. And my other sister pulled the broken boat, which continued to take on water... After we got back to our very hot villa we went to get lunch. The menus were in Spanish... and they didn't teach me in Spanish class the names of very many foods. My meal ended up being fish filled with shrimp, scallops, eel, and octopus... yes eel and octopus... not good, quite disgusting actually, sorry to those of you who like those varieties of seafood.
On Wednesday we went white water rafting and zip lining which was amazing... really it was the highlight of the whole trip. However while we were rafting our raft decided to tip and throw me out in the most dangerous rapids we went through. After I got sucked down for about 10 seconds my handy life jacket pulled me to the surface and I got smashed against a rock at which point they were able to pull me back into the boat. Then we had to rescue my flip flops...The best part of this story is as the boat was tipping I looked across from me and saw my mother. I reached for her and she just stared at me as I fell into the water. She could have totally saved me, but she didn't. Guess I'm not the favorite after all... just kidding Mama, I love you, even if you did let the rapids take me. That night we were all gathered having scripture study when this black thing crawled along the floor and into the bathroom. We all freaked out and my Mom said she thought it was a scorpion... which it was of course. And when we tried to catch the scorpion, it tried to attack us. Those things are fast. My dad proceeded to kick it across the room and then we flushed it down the toilet... The next morning we found it sitting in the bottom of the toilet bowl. It must have tried to crawl out... which is super creepy. Needless to say, we were all very careful to check our shoes and beds before we got into them for the rest of the trip.
Thursday we went scuba diving... the day started out cloudy and I could just feel that it was going to rain. We got all geared up and in the boat and it proceeded to downpour. It rained so hard that it hurt to open you eyes. We ended up getting out of the boat and going back to the shop to wait out the rain. About an hour later the rain stopped and we got back in the boat and proceeded on our way. Halfway to our destination the heavens opened again and we got dumped on for 15 minutes before we got to this little island. We took refuge at a light house and ate lunch and it proceeded to rain for a good 2 hours. We also found out while we were waiting that the toilets didn't flush... We finally got into the water to go dive, but because it was cloudy the water was dark, and my claustrophobia decided to act up and I wasn't able to dive. So I had to sit in the boat for 45 minutes while everyone else dove.
Friday we went to see the native American pyramids which were really cool except for the fact that I was deathly ill that day. I was so nauseous and light headed that I couldn't even stand up without almost passing out. The locals call it climate sickness... Don't worry the rest of my family proceeded to get it the following days... Anyways, I was trying to walk around and see everything but I ended up lying down on the ground and waiting for my family. When we got back I proceeded to sleep for like 18 hours.
Saturday we rode horses which was fun and then went out to eat which was also fun... They had air conditioning... which was awesome. They spoke English... which was really exciting. The menu was in English... amazing. And it was fabulous Italian food... at this point in the week heaven couldn't have been any more perfect.
On Sunday we went to Church (which also had AC... those Mormons are smart people). Church was in Spanish, however I could still feel the spirit and the meeting was run the same way it would have been in the states. Then we gave the primary children presents. It was really awesome to give the children things that their parents couldn't afford to give them. They especially liked the candy!
We flew home early Monday morning and our flight was delayed (because of rain) and we missed our connecting flight, and then my mom's luggage got lost. A fitting end to our vacation... Don't worry they found her luggage and sent it to us later.
So now you all know why the Dillon family doesn't go on cool family vacations very often... We go to Utah or Arkansas where nothing too exciting can happen. But who knows maybe next year we will get really adventurous and try someplace like Canada...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Awkward Medical Exams and other Life Experiences

This post is for all of you who have been anxiously awaiting the amazing post I said I was going to write. I am finally done with my semester so I have time to do something besides study.

So as many of you know I am in PA school. This means that I spend hours of my life stuffing medical knowledge into my already full brain. Also I get to look at and stick my fingers in ALL the body's orifices. Recently one of the most exciting things I have done is the male and female genitourinary exams.... In the past we have done these exams on plastic models but this year in preparation for our rotations they had people come in so we could do the exams on a live patient. Yes it was as awkward as it sounds and I was being graded as well. The only thing that could make this worse is having my teacher there, looking over my shoulder mentally critizing every step I make. Also its slightly unnerving when your patient grabs your hand and tells you that you are feeling the wrong spot or that you are doing the exam wrong. Yeah it was awkward, enough said...

So in March my brother got married. They decided to get married in the Nauvoo temple which is about 5 hours from where my parents live. They also decided to bring all the wedding stuff from Fort Dodge (our Hometown). We trasported all the decorations, food, dresses, tuxs, flowers, you name it they had it. Now they decided to get a 3 level cake and transport it. I thought this was a bad idea but no one listened to me. This was the first mistake. So we get the cake and transport it from Fort Dodge to Nauvoo. The cake travelled perfectly with no problems for 5 hours. Before the reception we were taking the top layer of the cake into the reception hall and of course I was carrying it. This was the second mistake. Who ever gave me a cake to carry should be shot. I trip in parking lots when there is nothing on the ground to trip on. Well as you may have guessed I dropped the cake. Irronically it was right after I told my sister to be careful and to make sure not to drop it. Yes I really am that unlucky its kinda what Im good at. Due to some divine intervention and some clever decorating we were able to putthe cake back together. All of the bridesmaids and all the groomsmen put Humpty Dumpty cake back together again.

So after the wedding my roommate and I went to St Louis. Everything there is free! Being an extremely poor grad student if its free we love it. You woulkdnt believe some of the things I eat just because they are free. And I will do just about anything for a free t-shirt... Anyways St. Louis has this park called Forrest Park and everything in it is free. Including the Zoo and all the museums. Its a great place to visit if your on a budget.

Well the next month I went to another wedding. I know 5 couples getting married in a 2 month time period. I also know at least one couple getting married every month thru September. Im still looking for a October couple. If anyone knows someone let me know. So at this second wedding we ate some amazing food, took pictures, etc. Now the wedding was amazing but the really amazing part was my trip back to Lincoln. I flew United and I was scheduled on the 7pm flight connecting in Dever and then on to Lincoln. I get to the airport and wait for the flight. First thing that happened was the plane got there late. For those of you that dont know this is a very bad sign. Because it means something is wrong with the plane and they are going to have to fix it. Well they are fixing our plane but I missed my connection so they had to re book me on a 10am flight out of Denver the next day. So I sit back down to wait for the plane to get fixed. Two hours later they finally board us and we are all ready to go and we pull away from the boarding thing... I think they call it a moving jet way or something like that. Anyways we procedd to sit there for another 2 hours before they tell us that they cant fix the problem and so the flight will not be leaving. Now this is a big problem because I am supposed to be in Denver at 10am and there were no flights that could get me there in time. I ended up in a hotel room, got to sleep around 1:30 am and had to leave for the airport at 5:30am. Yep got a sum total of 3 hours sleep it was awesome. I get to the airport again and try to fly standby, which I failed at. Anyways the story goes on and after 6 ticket changes and 16 hours in an airport they finally managed to get me to Omaha. And I had someone pick me up getting me home around 5:30pm on Monday. It was amazing!

Well sorry if that was a bitter story Im really not bitter about it anymore. It just makes for an interesting story, its pretty much the most exciting thing that has happened to me in the last couple months. Although a close second was giving birth to twins for my spanish class assignment... but thats a story for another day

P.S. Im sorry if this wasnt the amazing post some of you were expecting. I tried really hard but the material I had to work with was a little lame. Hopefully once rotations start I will be able to get you all the messy details of life in the hospital. My first roatation is in Guthrie Center, Iowa. Where is that you ask... I dont know. I grew up in Iowa and I have never heard of it. But supposedly its a booming metropolis of 1500 people. Should be the time of my life...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

To Study or Not to Study...

So... I should really be studying right now but like usual I'm not and because of it I will be up all night tomorrow trying to cram random medical knowledge into my already over full brain. I have things I want to tell you all but school has been so busy I haven't even been able to breathe. But don't worry after Wednesday I will have some time and I promise an entertaining post... at least I thought it was entertaining... Anyways I should probably try to study, or go to bed. Have fun as you all egeraly await my next amazing post!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I have recently aquired a personal trainer... why, some of you may ask. Its because I'm a chubby kid at heart. If its food I like it... and I eat it. Hence the need to work out... a lot. However, despite my best intentions I seem to struggle with getting to the gym on a regular basis. So I decided to get a trainer (that and I wanted to look super hot for bro's wedding).

I used to think I was in pretty good shape, then I walked into my gym took one look around and I thought I was in alright shape, then I met with my trainer and I realized I was in bad shape... Today we did cardio and core workouts and because my trainer didn't have an appointment after mine he got to spend a whole hour training me (double ouch). Im the type of person that can go for long distances as long as I go really slow. Now for most normal people a slow running pace would be about 7 mph. Well for me a fast running pace is anything over 5 mph. I told my trainer this but he either didn't believe me or he was picked on as a child and has deep inner anger that he needs to release and I just happen to be the easiest target (probably cause I don't run fast enough to get away). Well if being slow wasn't bad enough I also turn bright red (tomatos would be envious) whenever I do anything remotely athletic. Its really not cute at all and I kinda look like I might die. Well so far during my training sessions I have fallen with weights on my back nearly killing myself and my trainer, tripped up and down the stairs, fallen over doing lunges, fallen off my exercise ball, and nearly passed out from over-exerting myself. I think your starting to see my point... I'm slightly pathetic. And of course my trainer is extremely attractive, with no real physical flaws. But so goes life, all I can hope is after I have been working out for long enough he will realize how awesome I am and will forget all those times where I nearly killed myself...

The steps to getting a personal trainer...
1. scope out the trainer options first before committing
2. pick one thats not cute to whip your body into shape
3. switch to new, hot trainer once you got an awesome body
4. impress him with your awesomeness
5. live happily ever after

Disclaimer: My trainer is actually really nice... but the rest of it is true

Saturday, February 7, 2009

I should be sleeping... or studying...

Okay so I finally jumped on the bandwagon and got a blog. Now for those of you who don't know me very well I'm the type of person that claims I will never do something and then I end up eating my words later. For example, I claimed I would never get facebook... well I now spend way too much time checking it. I also claimed I would never get a smartphone... I now have a fancy phone that is smarter than I am (its also a PDA which is another thing I claimed I would never have...) and finally I said I would never have a blog... Well here I am at 12:13 am setting up and blog and writting my first post. Why? I don't know probably because I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder for you who don't know all the medical abbreviations by heart). So basically the point is I complain and grumble and talk about how dumb it is that we waste our time sitting in front of computer screens all day talking about our lives instead of being out there living our lives, but when it comes down to it I do the same thing...

Now I would like to make a public disclaimer. I am a PA (Physician Assistant) student. Which for those of you who don't know what that is I am like an almost doctor... I get a masters degree and I go to school for three years instead of 4 like med students. If you want a better definition go wikipedia look up PA and I'm sure they will give you a fountain of information. Anyways, because I am constantly submerged in all things medical I tend to see the humor in things that most people consider gross or even inappropriate. Some of the stories I will tell and the things I refer to are Medical humor and are not for those with delicate consitutions. Know that I mean no disrespect but like I said these things are funny to me and this is my blog so either deal with it or don't read it.

Now on to my first story, which is not medically related...

My dear elder brother is getting married. He is almost 29 and is the first one in my family to be getting married. My family is LDS and the average marrying age in the Mormon community is 22, I know most of you think thats kinda crazy but its how we do it. Well in my family there are 5 of us. Ages 28, 26, 24 (me, well almost March 4th is the day), 20, and 13. So based on Mormon standards three of us should be married and my parents should have about 10 grandchildren. Well there are no spouses or children yet and my parents were starting to wonder if we were just rejects of the LDS community. However they now have hope the eldest is getting married. Based on the way my parents act you would have thought he had been elected President. This is the biggest news in the Dillon household for a long time. So naturally my parents want a nice wedding. Well my brother got engaged January 1st 2009 and is getting married March 13th 2009... Okay now you are all thinking that we mormon folk are crazy... I agree 2 months is very fast to plan a wedding.

Well this is where my story really begins. I was driving to Des Monies from Lincoln to help my brother with wedding things because I'm an awesome sister and service is Christ-like and all that. well I'm driving along interstate 80 (which is 70 mph in Iowa) going about 70 mph. When I get pulled over by an unmarked police car. He proceeds to write me up despite the fact that I told him I thought it was 70 (actual speed limit was 55) and that I had never driven on that road before (both of which were true). Well I'm upset about this but its been awhile since I have gotten a speeding ticket so it was alright. Well less than a week later I got stopped again for running a stop sign. Now let me set up the scene of the crime...

It was late about 1 am and I was driving back from my friends house. She lives about a mile away. It was also like the artic outside I would guess wind chill was about -10 at least. So I get in my car and all I want to do is get home as fast as I can and get in my nice bed with my down comforter. I blame what happened next on the winters here and the fact that I think my brain had some frostbite that night. I came to an intersection slowed down (referred to as a rolling stop) looked both ways and proceeded to go. I'm driving along and I pull into my apartment complex... I can see my apartment and I am dreaming of my bed when I see lights flashing in my rear view mirrior. I stop and he comes up to my window (which almost didn't roll down, thats how cold it was) and tells me to turn off my car. Then he proceeds to go back to his nice warm cop car and leaves me with my window down in my cold car with no heater in the arctic of -10. Well he finally comes back and hands me my ticket. I take it and finally make it home to my bed. Now the really interesting part of this story was that the sunday before these tickets the topic was trials. As the speakers were speaking I thought to myself, " I really have never had a big trial..." Just as a word of advice never even think that you don't have trials cause the Lord doesn't want anyone to feel left out and he will give them to you...

So the moral of my slightly pathetic, really long story. What I learned from these experiences...

1. Never think you don't have trials...
2. Find ways to do service without driving your car (such as sending online flowers, almost as nice as real flowers and lots cheaper)
3. The person who said that women never get tickets was lying
4. Cops were the kids that were picked on in elementary school
5. Ride your bike when going short distances (its good for the environment, your health, and your driving record)
6. Don't live in Nebraska its far to cold for normal brain function